Watchtower on a Sunday morning at the Operational Office of Maridipart Naples ... I'm telling about prehistory. The dismounted colleague informs me that an American nuclear submarine that arrived the previous evening is moored at the head of the naval base and informs me that a certain number of times a day a motorboat will depart from the Naval Base with a non-commissioned officer on board who, equipped with a contraption to be immersed in the water while the motorboat turns around the submarine, will have to read some values reported on another contraption connected to the first.
Once returned, the non-commissioned officer will communicate to the Operative the read values, which must be reported in the register that the colleague indicates to me.
Transcribed the values on the register, there is nothing else to do. If the person in charge points out that the values are beyond a certain limit - the colleague continues - there is a list of a series of people to be informed in the register. The rest will take care of them.
All linear, no? But we are in Naples.
After an hour or so, a phone call arrives
"Hello, I'm talking to the operative office?"
"Yes, I'm the service officer"
"Good morning, Mr. Officer, I'm Sergeant X. I wanted to tell you (the" you "in Naples is a compulsory custom) that I replace head Y yesterday that told the commander that this morning had a commitment (... you'll understand, it's Sunday day, normally full of commitments ...) and then the commander has authorized the replacement.We are going with the motorboat to make checks around the American submarine "
"Okay, Sergeant, we'll talk to you when you come back," I reply, breaking the habit and using "her".
"All right ... But, Mr. Officer ..."
"What's up?"
"No, nothing ... just that the 'vulesse just know' as they did this here and there 'from America cu' 'stu coso giallo piccerillo piccerillo" (subtitles for non-Neapolitans: "with this little yellow little thing" ).
With a tear to the regulation step to the unilateral "you" and the Neapolitan language.
"Serge, what kind of yellow and little thing are you talking about?"
"Eh, Mr. officer, d '' or American submarine"
"But why, is it yellow?"
"Eh!"
"And also piccerillo?"
"Eh, that seems' na pazziella" (read "a toy")
A yellow and small American submarine !! ?? Steps for the small size ... maybe it will be 'na experimental thing, what do I know ... but also yellow? Generally they are black ... it is true that once I saw an American film on a pink submarine ... but what does it have to do, it was a comic movie ... it is also true that the Beatles on a yellow submarine made a song ... well, but I do not think they could have inspired the Americans to paint a submarine in yellow ... no, something is wrong.
"Well ... if I have understood correctly ... are you telling me that there is a yellow and small American submarine under the pier?"
"Eh, but not at the head of the pier, this is inside the naval base"
"So at the head of the pier what's up?"
"And what do I do with it? (Read" what can I know? ") From here you can't see. And then ... what was I going to do at the head of the pier if I have to check the submarine inside the naval base? "
Of course, this being the case he's right too ... but then you want to see who mo 'who is wrong? I will have misunderstood the deliveries? Was my colleague wrong?
Some insight seems appropriate.
"Serge, but is the flag American, and how is the crew dressed?"
"Mr. officer, this flag does not hold it and the crew does not fit in. Here it seems as if everything is closed, everything off ... you do not even hear a noise"
I try to acquire other elements of information.
"Serge, but on this yellow submarine there is no one written? ... I know, the name ... a number ... something ..."
"Nothing, Mr. Officer, but if you wait a moment, you're going through Cape K, a friend of mine who is serving at the naval base ... I'll ask him if he knows something more precise"
"And go 'bbuo' ... and ask ... I'll wait on the line" I reply, resigned to the fact that the recourse to the Neapolitan custom of "I ask 'n'amico mio che' o 'ssape" (" now I ask a friend of mine who is always well informed ") seems to be necessary to better clarify even the instructions for the officer on duty at the operations.
Spend a few minutes while I hear muffled voices in the receiver ... clearly he has plugged the microphone with his hand, but not so much as not to make me understand that a conciliabolo ditto, subdued and articulated.
Then, finally, the voice of the sergeant who seems a little hesitant.
"Hello, Mr. officer ... are you always online?"
"Yes, ready, I'm '... so ... so?
"No, nothing, Mr. officer, everything is resolved, now let's go with the motorboat at the head of the pier where it is or American submarine"
"Ah, at the head of the pier, mo '? .. and no, serge' ... 'nu mumento ... and then chillu coso yellow and small that is inside the naval base?
And so I discover from the lively and embarrassed voice of the sergeant that the deliveries, received from the very busy Chief Y, had been communicated to him, by the eye, in these terms: "See that there should be an 'American submarine in port. You five times a day he takes a motorboat, go there, hit the thing dint'all'acqua (read "dip the probe"), here above read what he says and then you say it to the operator ".
He had not told him, however, that the American submarine was at the head of the pier and so the sergeant was preparing to carry out who knows what measurements around a kind of bathyscaphe ("yellow and piccerillo", precisely) of a specialized company in submarine works, moored in the naval base.
Decency does not recommend transcribing my articulate exclamation "in language" followed by clarifications received.
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