(Tale of military life)

Monto guard on a Sunday morning at the Maridipart Naples Office ... I'm telling about prehistory. The disassembling colleague informs me that a US nuclear submarine moored the previous night is moored at the head of the naval base and informs me that a certain number of times a day a motorboat will depart from the Naval Base with a non-commissioned officer on board. a contraption to immerse in the water while the motorboat goes around the submarine, must read some values ​​reported on another device connected to the first.

Once returned, the non-commissioned officer will communicate to the Operative the read values, which must be reported in the register that the colleague indicates to me.

Transcribed the values ​​on the register, there is nothing else to do. If the person in charge points out that the values ​​are beyond a certain limit - the colleague continues - there is a list of a series of people to be informed in the register. The rest will take care of them.

All linear, no? But we are in Naples.

After an hour or so, a phone call arrives

"Hello, I'm talking to the operative office?"

"Yes, I'm the service officer"

"Good morning, Mr. Officer, I'm Sergeant X. I wanted to tell you (the" you "in Naples is a compulsory custom) that I replace head Y yesterday that told the commander that this morning had a commitment (... you'll understand, it's Sunday day, normally full of commitments ...) and then the commander has authorized the replacement.We are going with the motorboat to make checks around the American submarine "

"Okay, Sergeant, we'll talk to you when you come back," I reply, breaking the habit and using "her".

"All right ... But, Mr. Officer ..."

"What's up?"

"No, nothing ... just that the 'vulpes own sape' as they did these here come from America cu '' stu coso yellow piccerillo piccerillo " (subtitles for non-Neapolitan: "with this little petty yellow affair").

With a tear to the regulation step to the unilateral "you" and the Neapolitan language.

"Serge, what kind of yellow and little thing are you talking about?"

"Eh, Mr. officer, d '' or American submarine"

"But why, is it yellow?"

"Eh!"

"And also piccerillo?"

"Eh, that seems 'na pazziella "(read "a toy" )

A yellow and small American submarine !! ?? Steps for the small size ... maybe it will be 'na experimental thing, what do I know ... but also yellow? Generally they are black ... it is true that once I saw an American film on a pink submarine ... but what does it have to do, it was a comic movie ... it is also true that the Beatles on a yellow submarine made a song ... well, but I do not think they could have inspired the Americans to paint a submarine in yellow ... no, something is wrong.

"Well ... if I have understood correctly ... are you telling me that there is a yellow and small American submarine under the pier?"

"Eh, but not at the head of the pier, this is inside the naval base"

"So at the head of the pier what's up?"

"And I who do not? (read "What can I know?") From here you can not see. And then ... what was I going to do at the head of the pier if I had to check the submarine inside the naval base? "

Of course, this being the case he's right too ... but then you want to see who mo 'who is wrong? I will have misunderstood the deliveries? Was my colleague wrong?

Some insight seems appropriate.

"Serge, but is the flag American, and how is the crew dressed?"

"Mr. officer, this flag does not hold it and the crew does not fit in. Here it seems as if everything is closed, everything off ... you do not even hear a noise"

I try to acquire other elements of information.

"Serge, but on this yellow submarine there is no one written? ... I know, the name ... a number ... something ..."

"Nothing, Mr. Officer, but if you wait a moment, you're going through Cape K, a friend of mine who is serving at the naval base ... I'll ask him if he knows something more precise"

"And go 'bbuo' ... and ask ... I wait in line" I answer, resigned to the fact that the recourse to the Neapolitan custom of the "mo 'ask my friend that' o 'ssape" ("Now I ask a friend of mine that is always well informed ") seems to be necessary to better clarify even deliveries for the on-call officer.

Spend a few minutes while I hear muffled voices in the receiver ... clearly he has plugged the microphone with his hand, but not so much as not to make me understand that a conciliabolo ditto, subdued and articulated.

Then, finally, the voice of the sergeant who seems a little hesitant.

"Hello, Mr. officer ... are you always online?"

"Yes, ready, I'm '... so ... so?

"No, nothing, Mr. officer, everything is resolved, now let's go with the motorboat at the head of the pier where it is or American submarine"

"Ah, at the head of the pier, mo '? .. and no, serge' ... 'nu mumento ... and then chillu coso yellow and small that is inside the naval base?

And so I find out from the living and embarrassed voice of the sergeant that the deliveries, received from the highly committed Chief Y, had been communicated to him, in these terms: "See that there should be 'nu American submarine in port. five times a day he takes a motorboat, go there, I fed myself in the water (read "dip the probe"), here you read what he says and then you say it to the operative ".

He had not told him, however, that the American submarine was at the head of the pier and so the sergeant was getting ready to make some kind of measurements around a kind of bathyscaph ("yellow and piccerillo ", in fact) of a company specialized in submarine works, moored in the naval base.

Decency does not recommend transcribing my articulate exclamation "in language" followed by clarifications received.

****************