"The last 2 missile: chronicle of an asymmetric war"

(To Ugo Vecellio)
25/07/18

(Military Fantasy Story)

7 April 2018, exactly a year later, Suez Canal

The ship proceeds slowly in the waters of the channel, still twenty minutes and will enter the Mediterranean. After eleven months of stopping at the naval base of Diego Garcia, finally the two new flaming 6x10 batteries of Tomahawk missiles, equipped with the most modern triggering technologies, are at the fore and stern. The atmosphere on board is relaxed, the crew is enjoying the sun of the hot Egyptian spring and even in the cockpit the mood of the officers is cheerful and jovial.

  • See Catozzo, after all, it does not seem true to me and almost almost it is taking me homesick. You must understand that it is not easy to cancel a life at the service of the States, a life lived (modesty apart) with great self-denial and a sense of duty. But on the other hand from my calculations starting from the month of July I will receive a pension of 6750 $ gross definitely deserved, but above all it will be for me the right reimbursement against those bribes treacherous pension institution who had fraudulently revoked the 'my father Brennon's goodbye to the good-bye, alleging specious reasons.

  • Unforeseen circumstances, sir ...

Lieutenant Catozzo never missed an opportunity to point out whatever the subject was, something that sometimes irritated the commander. But the atmosphere is relaxed and this time the tone remains friendly.

  • What unforeseen do you speak?

  • Del Fornery Act, for example ...

  • ?

  • You see, sir, it seems that the Democratic senator Elsa Fornery intends to present a bill to abolish .............

  • To abolish what? What do you want to abolish, that crow?

  • ... ..who defines "the scandalous privileges of military caste"

  • Ah, nonsense. If even he wanted to do it there would be no technical time for approval. Believe me Catozzo, in three months I will crown the dream of my life by going to live in peace in the home in Ohio that was my father's last home. But first I'll go to the Columbus post office, I'll park the dad's 72 Chevrolet Impala and pick up the first check, including back!

"Law Forneryyhhhh, law Forneryhhhh ...."

The cursed bird never missed an opportunity to underline what he believed to be the salient aspects of an ongoing discussion.

But suddenly the front door opens and the marconist officer breaks into the control room, snaps to attention and greets; then, with wide-eyed eyes, he nervously indicates with the index of his right hand the sheet of notepad that he holds between his teeth.

  • Mmhhh Mmhhh ..... .....

  • Lieutenant Poonia! Does this seem like a way to stop a meeting? Did you know that we were comparing ourselves about the latest war tactics defined by the commands? Lieutenant Catozzo! Take that fool and see what they want this time from Washington! They will be the usual silly crap ...

Lieutenant Catozzo hesitantly tries to remove the sheet from the mouth of the unfortunate man who, however, does not release his grip. With rapid flick of genius, however, the Italian-American by implementing the tactics of psychological persuasion learned in the Academy succeeds in the intent after having practiced a strategic action of tickling under the armpit of the unfortunate.

  • So, let's see ...... here ....... just .......

  • Move Catozzo, I have not had breakfast yet!

  • Here, see ...

  • But do you want to end it?

  • There seems to have been a chemical weapons attack by Syrian aviation in a place called Douma.

  • And so?

  • Well, here ... here they say we have to consider ourselves on the red code alert and take us to the Israeli coast.

  • That's it?

  • Well, not really ....

  • So, do you want to finish reading?

  • Therefore, practically ......... he says that we must consider ourselves in operative mission and follow further instructions. Furthermore....

  • Furthermore?

  • Here ... of course all licenses, rest periods and retirements are suspended.

  • Aahhhh! The cursed ones! They spent their life with their legs under a desk! And I instead to face the enemies, the bad weather on the deck of the ship, the torrid sun of the beaches of Diego Garcia and here I stop. Well if this is the last sacrifice you ask me then, broken to the Israeli shores! We will cover ourselves with glory and rightfully ask for a pension bonus!

A year before, in the heart of the Archangel Forest, Northern Russia

Whoever was right now in this small room in one of the many small dachas hidden among the firs would see nothing but an old wooden table and the silhouette of a strange person looking out the window; the head slightly folded on the curved shoulders, the look is lost far away among the lights of dawn, so that not even notices that man in camouflage that has just crossed the threshold.

  • Agent Archimede!

The mysterious character turns slowly and fixes his interlocutor straight in the eye.

  • You have successfully completed the accelerated training period. In just four days I have made you an FSB agent and I have just obtained approval from the command for employment in your first mission. Are you ready?

After a moment of silence, a slow nod

  • Good. Today you will be boarded. You know what you must do and you also know what importance and delicacy is your job. In due time, Agent Freccia will contact you, who will take care of the completion of the operation.

  • To orders, commander ...

With the grim expression and the raspy voice in perfect Russian language but betraying a slight English-speaking inflection, so closes the meager conversation.

9 April 2018, the destroyer's command bridge Lincoln off the Israeli coast

The atmosphere is tense in the control room. The only one to keep the usual cheerful and mocking attitude is the little green parrot who constantly jumps on the desk, sometimes humming a tune ..

"Once upon a time there was a little navigliooohhhhhh ....."

Suddenly the onlookers hold their breath at the arrival of the marconist officer. Lieutenant Poona holds the hand with a trembling hand to the commander, who in turn turns a look to Lieutenant Catozzo who, after a nod of agreement, grabs him and begins to read in silence. And after five, endless minutes, it breaks the silence of ice.

  • It seems that two objectives have been identified, respectively called base A and base B. It is a site west of Damascus where the deadly chemical weapons are produced; in the satellite photo you can see large stainless steel machines equipped with high ejection terminals. This should be the base A. As for the B, located near Homs, it is nothing but a storage site; here in the picture you can see the low sheds and some military trucks that load the material. The attack is scheduled for April 13 at midnight on point; ask us to launch the 60 bow battery missiles on base A and 60 of the stern battery on base B. Follow satellite coordinates etc.

  • ALL the missiliii? But so we will stay ...... we will remain ... naked!

  • Sir, the missiles are made to be launched. And then, think of the families of McDonnel Douglas workers who risk the redundancy fund again.

  • Lieutenant Catozzo! Can you imagine the fool if the Syrian anti-aircraft even intercepted some of MY brand new missiles?

  • I do not think it's possible, sir. The Syrian defense is based on the old Russian S125 missiles. Our new Tomahawks are equipped with both sensors a heat research that of metal detectors, which intercept the danger and release false targets to evade countermeasures. The possibility of success is valued around 98%. Even the Syrians are aware of their vulnerability, to the point that our services suspect that they are turning to the Chinese to obtain more effective and low-cost technologies.

No one has noticed, but in the meantime the parrot Willy, who had been stuck under the captain's coat for a few minutes, now peeks his head. And in response to the wonder of the bystanders .....

"Search for heateehhhhh ......."

  • So, how should we proceed?

  • It will be a walk, sir. From our location Damascus and Homs are on the same trajectory. The missiles will be launched at cruising height, about 3000 meters, will fly over Lebanon and then descend at low altitude (about 150 meters) 30 km before Damascus to evade the radar; from here a part will drop on base A and the rest will continue for a few minutes towards base B.

  • Good, and be it! So, 'tremendous Damascus!'

  • Delenda, sir. It is called 'delenda Damasco'

  • Just Catozzo! It is not my intention to lose myself in these useless details. At work! I want to personally inspect the missile batteries.

And in a few moments the control room remains empty. Almost empty. The exception is the presence of a small green parrot that happily skips on the table, now on the copier keys.

And after half an hour, to the battery bow missiles ...

  • Well guys, I think this time we will not have problems. Now come all here. Lieutenant Catozzo, prepare your device for a souvenir photo.

The lighting conditions are optimal, the shot is ready and the goal is to capture the historical moment. Of course, the eight men are not perfectly aligned and can not be said to have a particularly martial air: someone snorts, one plays with the smartphone and another puts his fingers in the nose, but so be it.

  • But, a moment! Someone is missing.

  • Not to contradict it, but we're all here, sir

  • No, Willy is missing. Where will he be hunted?

  • Look, sir. Up there, at the top of the radar, near that cormorant. While the radar wheel rotates amused like crazy, they use it like a carousel and perhaps think they are at the amusement park.

  • I see, and I also see that Willy tries to kiss her on the neck. Here, I missed only a fagot parrot! Let's go with the selfie to the devil.

Twelve meters higher, on the rotating blade of the radar, after many attempts the parrot finally manages to insert a small roll of paper into the cylindrical container that the cormorant carries tied to the neck. Then, with a high cry, the sea eagle stands out; in less than two hours he will land at the Russian base of Latakia and so, on the other hand, Agent Archimedes and Agent Freccia have completed their mission.

At the same time, on the direct flight Air China Beirut-Beijing, business class

  • Do you still want some?

At the sight of a second bowl of food the expression of the young man became radiant.

  • Yes thanks

Steamed ravioli are filled with a thick green mush, presumably based on coriander. Ah, what a delight! After two months in Syria he had sworn not to touch the mutton for the rest of his life. Engineer Wang Li graduated two years earlier with 110 and honors at Beijing University with a thesis on 'Chinese technology at the time of the Han Dynasty applied to modern weapons'. At the command of the People's Liberation Army it had not escaped and they had immediately enlisted him so that he could develop the possible practical applications of his studies. And so only twenty-six years old he had found himself landing at the port of Latakia on a cargo ship carrying a load of bamboo. Now he is coming home where the marriage with his beloved Tang Yi awaits him; all organized to take place in just eight days, including banquet and short honeymoon in the Changbai mountains; then departure for a new mission, destination Pyongyang.

11 April 2018, suburbs of Damascus, "base A"

The material stored under the long and low rusted sheet metal sheds was stowed in large wooden cages (metal in Syria is in short supply and is mainly used for military purposes) and then loaded on army trucks. From here the caravan will take the road to the west, Latakia's low-lying Russian destination where it will presumably be safe from possible enemy attacks.

at the same time, suburb of Homs, "base B"

The last three trucks are loading what remains of the large hastily dismantled plants, whose components have been meticulously cataloged and packaged. Even the latest staff are about to leave the installation and in a day even these together with the equipment will reach the Russian base of Latakia. During the dismantling at each gust of wind, from the stainless steel components, curious reels of impalpable reddish powders are raised; the staff seems not to care, also because they all wear glasses with waterproof rubber trim at the edges and white filtering masks.

13 April 2018, 17 hours, Lincoln destroyer

The missile launch is scheduled for tonight at midnight on the dot. The atmosphere is tense and there is much excitement in the radar room. Suddenly Lieutenant Frank Catozzo breaks into the control room and ...

  • Sir, sir! Look there at 15 hours, three unidentified units ....

Captain Williams, white faced faces the porthole. The black silhouettes of three frigates stand out on the horizon.

  • Curse, enemy units, surely Russian. This time it gets serious. Soon, fire the warning shots immediately!

  • Excuse me sir, but would not it be the case to take contact in advance? You know, to avoid the, let's say so, terrible fool of last year ....

  • Mmhhh ... good idea Catozzo, immediately notify the radio room and establish contact.

After five minutes a marconist sailor burst into the hall brandishing a cell phone

  • Sir, excuse me. The radio on board is temporarily broken but I managed to establish a contact via telephone. The three units are French, the Aquitaine, the Auvergne and the Langedoc-Roussilion. Admiral Enrique Lagard√©re, who commands the French fleet in the Mediterranean, would like to talk to her.

With hesitant hand the commander takes the phone in his hand and ....

  • Yes, of course .... okay .... we too .... but ....

Communication stops.

  • This damn phone does not work!

  • Actually, sir, I think I have exhausted my credit

  • Aahhhh! There! All against me! Now also the cursed French! They have orders to attack at midnight with the launch of four missiles for each cruiser! They want to take away the credit for preventing me from having a well-deserved pension bonus! Always them, the treacherous bragers! If in '44 we had not intervened we would be eating battered German potato peels instead of their stinking cheese! And then they say they have won the war! But what war did they win?

  • But sir, they are our allies!

  • But what allies of overwork? When they were kicked in c ... from Portugal they still boasted that they had magnanimously granted independence! Fools!

  • Lord that was not Portugal, it was Algeria ...

  • Silence!

During the long rage, Lieutenant Catozzo remained in a silent corner. Then...

  • Excuse me sir. I would have an idea.

  • Me too! We could torment the French and then, as only eyewitnesses, blame the Russians!

  • Sir, I'm afraid we'd easily be unmasked by satellite photos

  • So what?

  • Their missiles are slightly faster than ours but do not have anti-missile defenses; if we anticipate the launch of the first salvo, let's say, about thirty seconds, the French missiles will reach ours in a short time.

  • And then what?

  • The Tomahawks will release the false targets, the French missiles will be deceived and will try to hit them by diverting the route ....

  • And then what?

  • The tomahawks will have them handy, they will hit them and buuuum! They will all explode in flight!

  • ... and no one will take away a well-deserved pension supplement, let's say a thousand dollars a month! Excellent Catozzo, the plan is approved!

13 April 2018, 23,55 hours destroyer Lincoln

Everything is ready for launch. The commander Wilson, next to the battery bow missiles with a swollen chest and a treacherous smile on his lips, peers over the three French units illuminated by the soft light of the full moon with big binoculars.

  • Lieutenant Catozzo, are you ready for launch?

  • Hello, sir!

  • I recommend, the timing is FON-DA-MEN-TA-LE

  • No problem, sir. Do you see these six green keys? The simple pressure of each button activates in cascade the piezoelectric priming of a salvo of ten missiles. Six buttons for ten missiles equal to sixty missiles. Easy, no?

  • Catozzo, we'll discuss the technical details again. Be ready and at my signal you will unleash the attack.

The emotion of the moment is palpable, the commander intently stares at the dial of the silver onion clock that belonged to his father Brennon; he is so focused that he feels the steam puffs of the first Union Pacific Railroad locomotive in relief on the bottom of the case.

The countdown starts at the 23,59 and 20 seconds

  • Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, FUOCOOO !!!

The right index finger of Lieutenant Catozzo presses the first button firmly.

Tic ... tic..tic..tic .....

The breathing activity of those present has suddenly entered the stand by ...

  • Catozzoooo !!! What the hell is it succedeee ???

  • Here ... sir ... I'm afraid the flashlight of the trigger mechanism is unloaded ... could you lend me the flashlight of your watch?

  • Fuck you're nothing else! Do not you see that my watch is spring-loaded? Prestoooo! Aiutoooo! MY-DAY MY-DAY MY DAY !!

Hours 12,59 and 54 seconds and, unseen, someone came out of the shadows. It is Lt. Williams, second stern battery shift player; with a hushed noise and after having rubbed something against a little box in his left hand, a flame suddenly comes to life; after having matched the lit match, the reserve fuses catch fire and sparkle.

And in a moment hell breaks loose. The bombs stand out the flight, one, two, three .... but here is that from 'Auvergne already starts the first missile, then the second, then the third and ....

At a distance of a little less than two hundred meters the Tomahawk release the false targets, still a few seconds and the first French missile explodes in flight with a deafening roar, same end makes the second. The sea is illuminated by explosions by day; in a Dante atmosphere, Lieutenant Williams continues to set fire to the fuses while the second salvo leaves the Aquitaine. In two minutes the eight missiles of the first two French units disintegrated after less than a thousand meters run.

After half an hour the launch is over. Interim balance: on 120 missiles launched eight were destroyed in the collision with the French missiles, five were defective and fell into the sea and well 107 have continued the flight to the Syrian territory. Commander Williams is radiant, but ...

  • Catozzo, Catozzooo! The third ship has not fired yet! Catozzooooo!

In fact, there are no signs of activity from the Langedoc-Roussillon, but Lieutenant Catozzo looks at the sky

  • Now I understand, yes, I understand ....

  • Do you understand cosaaaa? Those do not shoot! They want to cheat us!

  • Excuse me sir. I understand after so many years what my grandfather meant when he spoke to me about the fireworks shows in Palermo on the day of Santa Rosalia. It '... it's ... it's .... beautiful. Excuse me for distracting sir, could you lend me your binoculars?

Lieutenant Catozzo scans the sea with a frown.

  • Here, I see. On the tower of the Langedoc-Roussilion a red light is flashing. I think they have suspended the launch due to technical problems

  • The usual French fools, he is well. They wanted to steal the honor of victory, thieves are and thieves will always be, as Dad used to say.

"Champagne for tuttiiihhhh, champagne for tuttiiihhhh"

For some time the parrot Willy occasionally left for the tangent and uttered senseless sentences.

In fact, however, many years before during the Korean War, Father Brennon had been the victim of a regrettable incident; to overcome the boredom and frustration of a war that was hurting a group of officers had organized a sporting competition. The race consisted of this: a group of terrified North Korean prisoners was divided into groups of eight members, who were then forced to lie down next to each other. Each American officer had a group at his disposal to pee and won over those who had bathed the farthest prisoner. He won by far the captain of the sappy Rocky Siffred producing a jet that went beyond the eighth prisoner of two meters and eighteen centimeters. Brennon arrived last not having wet any prisoner even if the general hilarity had been found with the amphibians completely soaked, having therefore to assume the burden of paying the prize at stake or: champagne for everyone at Sexy Bazooka in Seoul! In order to pay the highest salary, he had to indebt himself with a young corporal, David Cohen, who had granted him a repayment plan in two installments (two) at the modest interest rate of one hundred and twenty percent (the apparently exaggerated coefficient was justified by the risk insolvency due to the high mortality rate). Hence his visceral hatred towards the French producers of the expensive drink.

A good half hour has passed and the atmosphere on board is relaxed. The sailors are abandoning themselves to abundant libations, one is playing with his jo-jo in the shape of a bright flying saucer, another deceives the time chatting on a site of gay encounters while a small group has fun giggling among white clouds emanating from filled condoms of flour and swollen to the mouth until they explode.

But the serenity of the moment is destined to last a little .....

Four flashes of light interspersed by a few seconds and then followed by many hisses sinister pierce the darkness of the night.

  • Sir, sir! The Langedoc-Roussilion fired! They must have solved the technical problems!

  • Scoundrels! They screwed us!

Meanwhile, on the deck of the French ship, a curious character smiles, rolling up his nineteenth-century mustache ...

14 April 2018, 0,25 hours, south bypass of Damascus

From twenty-four hours all the entrances to the ring road have been closed, officially due to maintenance work, while the fields cultivated for a radius of two kilometers between the ring road and the outskirts of the city have been evacuated for safety reasons. In the morning there was a considerable influx of trucks that had stopped on columns on both lanes. Then the upper tarpaulins of the boxes had been opened unlike the lateral ones that remained closed, thus hiding the cargo from prying eyes. In the evening all the engines of the one hundred and twenty trucks had been put in motion at the same time by operating the pumps connected to the hydraulic jacks, which in turn had put the sturdy 60 mm section steel wires in tension, while the staff wore protective caps. Everything is ready now.

At the same time, in an unspecified location 30 km. south of Damascus.

Each of the eight pasdaran waits in silence in front of his station, his gaze straining the sky through the night-vision binoculars. When they appear on the horizon of the first missile, everyone is ready; when the missile reaches the perpendicular, each presses the key of its own device; when at least five buttons are pressed simultaneously, a radio pulse is transmitted.

At the same time on the control panels of all the trucks a red light comes on, an acoustic signal emits a whistle while the displays begin the countdown. At the calculated speed of 810 km / h between two minutes and twelve seconds the first missile will be on the perpendicular to the tangential. Here, almost there, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one ... in unison the soldiers of the Syrian anti-aircraft forcefully pull the large levers connected to the release mechanism, the steel strings are freed and the one hundred and twenty powerful nine-meter bamboo leaf springs specially imported from China hurl up to the sky as many darts with an initial speed of five hundred and fifteen km / h. After less than a second, the missile trajectory meets a wall of darts, one of which hits the bomb that begins to go crazy and ends up crashing exploding at five hundred meters in a parsley field on the side of the ring road. Meanwhile, the second missile is coming; the hydraulic jacks have almost completed the tension of the rope of the first crossbow of each truck, when from the second crossbows another salvo of darts is thrown, the second missile is struck to the tail, begins to screw itself like a top and crashes exploding too it above a tin roof.

14 April 2018, 04,15 hours destroyer Lincoln

The launch is over and presumably the missiles have already reached the targets, devastating the affected structures.

  • Commander, commander! We have not received any signal from the missiles!

  • And what did you expect, greetings from Syria?

  • You see, sir, when a Tomahawk is attacked it automatically releases the false targets and a signal is sent to the launch base; in this case no signal has been sent.

  • So what?

  • Probably the Syrian anti-aircraft striker has not even come into action, or the few missile launches launched have not even come close. It's a total success!

  • Good! Now I'll have to launch the final thrust!

  • Which lunge, sir?

  • For this manual action I will request early retirement for military value!

  • Phew .....

14 April 2018, 10,00 hours command bridge of the destroyer Lincoln

The relaxed expression of Commander James Wilson clashes with the collar of his white shirt on which show off some striking brown streaks. The peanut butter stains are notoriously tetragon with any stain remover. The first newspaper titles flow on the computer monitor.

New York Times, front page.

Title "Syria rightly punished"

Subtitle "One hundred and twenty missiles launched by one of our units have razed a chemical weapons storage site and a manufacturing facility there. Almost all missiles have hit the targets "

Pravda, the first page

Title "American attack on civilian targets in Syria"

Subtitle "Of the 107 American seventy-one missiles were shot down. The rest, in addition to four other parties from a French unit, did not cause deaths or injuries "

Damascus's Time, front page

Title: "Failed Franco / American attack on civil bases in Damascus and Homs"

Subtitle "No harm to people and things. A message from President Assad waited this day "

Le Monde, front page

Title: "French attack to punish Syria"

Subtitle "Controversy over technical problems encountered on new Mbda missiles"

The Missouri Mirror, second page

Title "Unemployment at historic lows"

Subtitle "President Trump announces new recruitments to Mcdonnell Douglas following a record order of Tomahawk missiles"

  • Always the same, these Soviets. They have a lie in their blood and do not want to admit their impotence in the face of our deadly weapons. What do you think, Catozzo?

  • Here, sir ..... unfortunately .....

  • Unfortunately?

  • ... .previous that the version of the Russians does not deviate too much from the truth ....

  • What the hell do you say? No signal has been received from the Tomahawks, a clear sign that the Syrian bases have been pulverized.

  • Indeed, the false targets have not been released. It must also be said that the activation command is conditioned by the detection of the sensors in search of heat and by the metal detectors.

  • Exactly. No detection, no anti-aircraft.

  • You see, sir, according to the version of our services it seems that the Syrians have equipped themselves with a new technology supplied by the Chinese, the so-called anti-missile projectiles to cold head of which we speak for some time, able to evade the sensors in search of heat.

  • And the metal detectors?

  • They proved to be ineffective, because it seems that for the manufacture of the projectiles new materials based on vegetable fiber extracted from the bamboo are used. It is also suspected that the Syrians had been informed in advance of the attack thanks to the action of hackers.

"Under the bambuuuhhhh

at the time that fuuhhh

there was a pirataahhh ...... "

Who saw the little parrot could not help but notice the strange turban he wears, while a black bandage covers his left eye.

A plumbeous silence falls on the presents. Without a word and moving like an automaton the commander leaves the hall and slowly descends the short metal ladder. Nobody has the courage to follow him. Later it will be seen to bounce on the rotating blade of the radar maintaining the equilibrium with the providential help of an umbrella.

14 April 2018, 13,00 hours, Russian base of Latakia

The viavai of muletti has momentarily stopped. It will still be necessary all afternoon to complete the loading of the trucks that will return the material to the bases from where it had been picked up a week before. To celebrate the success of the operation, the commander has gathered the staff of the base for an impromptu banquet. At the center of the square stands a giant omelet of three meters by three, supported on wooden planks, whose pentagonal shape alludes irreverent to something that is far away .... The chairs for the diners are arranged around the omelette; at each place a plate, two cutlery and a bowl filled with chili sauce. Lunch is about to begin, when the figure of the Syrian president about to await the nation's speech to unified networks appears on the television maxi screen supported by rudimentary trestles.

"Brothers and sisters, salam aleikum.

As you will know, the Western imperialists have unleashed their barbaric ferocity against the Syrian people. They accused us of producing, storing and using chemical weapons. Evidently they lie knowing they are lying, so much so that they reacted by bombarding two civil installations. And it is with pleasure that I give you an account of the outcome of these attacks.

The first was conducted on the outskirts of Damascus, near the 'Yasser Arafat' factory, where large industrial plants had been operating for years. Thanks to the confidential information we have, we have been able to dismantle the plants and transfer them to a safe place, from where they will be brought back to the factory from today. We anticipate that in less than a week they will be working again on three eight-hour shifts to make up for lost time and continue to supply the markets of our famous dried chili, as you know the best in the Middle East.

The second attack was conducted against the 'Gamal Abdel El Nasser' installation near Homs. Here, thanks to a gift from the Islamic Republic of Iran, three thousand five hundred hens worked incessantly since last year. The 'Layers of Isfahan', unique in the world, have the characteristic of laying eggs from six months to the last day of life; they are also totally immune to the typical pathologies of the gallinaceous, so much so that the death usually happens for old age. All the hens were safely placed in a secret location, where despite the stress due to the evacuation they continued to lay eggs, to the point that the staff of the base is working at this time to dispose of the accumulated stocks during forced exile. For the record during the trip two of them were seized with illness, but thanks to the prompt intervention of our veterinary service they immediately recovered and now they are fine. "

14 April 2018, 15,00 hours destroyer Lincoln

The atmosphere is leaden since rumors uncontrolled talk of a leak of confidential news, it seems due to a spy infiltrated on board, so that everyone suspects everyone. The command of the ship was hired by the deputy commander, the captain of vessel Tony Robbins who replaces indefinitely Admiral Wilson currently hospitalized in the infirmary where he is kept sedated following a severe nervous breakdown. A small group of sailors is silently scouring every corner of the ship in search of the Willy parrot that has mysteriously disappeared for a few hours.

Next to the currently empty stern missile battery, an impermeable folded canvas seems to move. From under the tarpaulin a voice ...

"Under coveraahhhh ........ under coveraahhh ....."

(probably continues .....)